Dear mom and dad.
19 years ago, you took me into your loving home and gave me more than anyone could ever ask for.
You gave me a faith to live by, a God to love, a reason to live and so much more. I’m confused though. How could such a loving family of God do something so cruel to their eldest daughter? In the twenty-first century, how could a Catholic family not accept their teenage daughter’s values and allow her to live her life the way she wants?
I made a clear, conscious decision to move in with my boyfriend. There are many risks to that as I am well aware. I’ve seen friends go through hell doing what I’m doing. Haven’t you learned by now that when I make a decision, I make the right one? Even if it’s not the right decision, shouldn’t you let me make that mistake myself?
Not only am I confused, I am HURT, ANGRY, DISAPPOINTED, FRUSTRATED and ABANDONED! I am hurt that you can’t respect my decision despite the fact that they may go against your beliefs. I am angry that I have to separate myself from the relationships that I had with my family because of one decision. I am disappointed that as a Catholic family you could not come to see and understand the decision that I am making in growing up. I am frustrated because every time I come to visit it ends up being about how bad of a decision this is and how I can’t afford it, how he doesn’t love me, how I’m only going to get hurt. I am abandoned because now I have no safety net, no support, no immediate family to rely on. You might think that I can come to you, but here’s the catch, I can come home IF I DON’T DO THIS. THAT’S NOT HOW PARENTING WORKS. I may not know a lot about it, but I sure as hell know that you’re not supposed to give your children an ultimatum when it comes to decisions and situations like this. Seriously! Here I am at 2am typing this because last week I bawled my eyes out due to the fact that it sank in that I have no financial support anymore, and no safety net, no support at all! This week, I’m crying my eyes out because I miss my family.
I miss Rosie sleeping with me at night. I miss telling Lily to watch where she’s going. I miss seeing Papa be stubborn. I love seeing Grandma love Papa to the point of frustration. I miss waking up early on the only day I can sleep in by Hope blaring the TV and Mom yelling at Hope for some mess or at Dad because he can’t hear. I miss the stupid things about my crazy ridiculous family.
But in all this craziness was so much chaos that I couldn’t even hear myself think. How is it fair that I am a young adult trying to live a care-free life and I can’t even do that because my family is down my throat 24/7. It’s not even about the rules. It’s about the activities. Yes I want to go have a couple drinks with my girlfriends every once in a while. Yes I want to go play pool with my boyfriend and have a drink or two. SO WHAT! Moderation. It’s a nice word. I would like to be able to go out whenever I want. Why? Because University students don’t have a concept of time and could care less what time of day/night it is. So, sorry if I want to go to Tim’s at 3am because my friends feel like chatting about life.
Now you may think, oh but she never hung out with her friends, she would always work, go to Shayne’s and sleep. There was reason for this, because I was so annoyed and frustrated with everything going on in the house that I couldn’t stand to be there. You can hear everything, and most of the time, people don’t have a consideration for the other. A huge example of this is Hope. You can hear her think from the other side of the house! Living at home was becoming an uncomfortable place for me to be, and so I decided that I would move. I can’t live by myself I know that. I can’t afford to. I can’t move in with friends, because I have none that close. I can’t move in with random girls because I hate girls. So, why don’t I move in with my boyfriend? Well, here’s the issue. My Family! “my family” seems to ALWAYS be the issue in most cases, or ‘my parents’ because of what your reaction would be. Just because your reaction would be as such doesn’t mean that the action itself is bad. Personally, I think you are the most overbearing judgemental parents a teenager in this century can have. Sometimes I wonder how you can call yourselves Catholic. Yeah, I said it. I can’t call myself a very good Catholic, but I’m sure as hell not judgemental and if I ever was, I would want to be slapped silly. Oh, and by the way, I love gay people and I’m going to a Drag Queen show this Friday where I may have a few drinks and be downtown really late at night. You don’t mind do you?
You have given me an amazing life, and so much that I could never repay, but now, you have ruined that image of how perfect your parenting is. I have learned from you though, I know that when I have kids, I WILL NEVER DO WHAT YOU DID and neglect them for a life decision that they make.
I will be there for Hope’s graduation and I will be there at the drop of a dime when someone is in the hospital, but I will no longer be a chauffer, or a cleaner, or a gas filler, or a tire mover or someone who follows your rules. I am on my own, and not my any mistake of my own, but by your decision to choose to react the way you did to my choice.